Imagine for a moment, someone is asking one question to you and you don’t know the answer.
Will you still try to answer? Or you will say, I don’t know.
Let’s understand this in a professional setup.
If there is a manager and there are four colleagues, four subordinates, and there is one person who has a habit of answering everything. Right, wrong, it is secondary but that person believes that yes, if my manager is asking me, I have to attempt to answer.
Is it a good habit or bad habit?
Let’s understand that by the way of this simple example.
It’s Difficult To Convince Kids
I remember a few years ago when my son was around eight or nine years old, we were busy at one grocery shop.
And suddenly my son came to me and said “Dad, I want to buy this.”
I said, “Son, this is Pepsi. This is too early for you to drink all this.”
And he said, “No, no, all my friends drink, I want to buy this.
I said, “No, you will not buy”. And then he looked towards the shopkeeper and
he said, “Uncle, is this good for me?” When was the last time a shopkeeper said bad for whatever he wants to sell.
He said, ”Yeah”. He nodded his head.
And he said “You see, what uncle said, it’s good for me.”
And then I got really angry.
I said, “How can you not believe in me? I’m your father.
But here you decide what you should buy or what you should not buy. ”
I was so angry. I took my hand and just took it down, removed the wallet and decided to buy that.
Sometimes it’s difficult to convince kids.
But in the evening ladies and gentleman, I was thinking that why this happened?
Why my son decided not trust me and decided to trust this person?
Why I’m going wrong as a father?
And then I realized. I found that because the last eight to nine years, whenever my son, is asking me, I was answering everything.
My son is asking me, I’m the father I have to answer.
Sometimes A Father Is Right, Sometimes A Father Is Wrong
So one day my son asked me, “Dad, Dad, tell me how many players in football?” He loves football. I don’t. I love cricket.
So I think in cricket is 11, there has to be at least one more or one less in football.
So I said, 10 players.
One day, he came to me and I said, “Dad, why fish can swim inside the water and we cannot swim like fish?”
And I said, “Come on. I don’t know. We are human beings. They are fish. And that’s the reason we cannot swim like fish.”
But with these answers that my father has given, according to my son, so with this answer, when my son is going through his life outside, and when he is meeting his friends, the friends are telling him that in football, it’s not 10 but 11 players. So my father is wrong.
So, sometimes a father is right. Sometimes a father is wrong.
When he is going to his swimming coach, his swimming coach is explaining that because fish, they have a unique capacity of absorbing oxygen from water, which we don’t have. They can swim, we can’t. So sometimes the father is wrong. Sometimes the father is right.
So this time I’m saying this, that Pepsi is not good. Is my father right or wrong?
So whose mistake, ladies and gentlemen? It was not his mistake. It was my mistake.
In the last few years in eight to nine years, I answered all his questions, whether I know the answer, or I don’t know the answer.
And because of this, he started losing trust. He doesn’t know when I’m right or when I’m wrong.
Slowly Lose The Trust Because Of Answering All The Questions
Same thing happens even at the workplace.
If you are a manager and if you have a team member who has a habit of answering all the questions.
So sometimes, maybe in the initial few days, you will appreciate that.
But slowly, because as a manager, as a senior person, when the person is answering, because you know that person is right or wrong.
Because you don’t know when he is right when he is wrong. You will slowly lose the trust because he has a habit of answering all the questions. You don’t know when he’s right, when he’s wrong.
So my point of view is this ladies and gentlemen on this, that if you have a habit of answering all the questions, you are weakening the trust with others.
They don’t know when you are right. They don’t know when you are wrong.
So what is the solution Praveen?
Presenting A Problem Without A Solution Is A Perfect Recipe For Disaster
Presenting a problem without a solution is a perfect recipe for disaster.
The solution is very simple.
I think, you know, when you know, and you know, when you don’t know.
Isn’t it? So if you don’t know the answer, accept that you don’t know the answer and proudly say that I don’t know at this point of time, I will come back to you. Imagine you are saying this every time your manager is asking something of you and you saying this, that, okay, I don’t know the answer, I’ll come back to you.
So every time when you’re answering indirectly, you are giving this message to this, see if I’m answering at this point of time it means I know because I have a habit of saying no proudly if I don’t know the answer.
And now my son is 14 years old. In the last few years, I did exactly that with my son. When I speak to him right now, if he asks me something and if I answer, if I’m answering, he knows Papa is answering only because he knows otherwise Papa doesn’t answer. That is helping me in strengthening my relationship with my son.
What is your perspective on this ladies and gentlemen?
Don’t you feel, if you have a habit of answering all the questions, you are weakening the trust?
Don’t do feel it is a bad habit?
What’s your view on this?
Share your perspective. This is Praveen Wadalkar signing out until we meet again.