Public Speaking And Overcoming The Fear of It?

by | Sep 19, 2020 | Public Speaking, Question & Answer | 2 comments


How do I overcome the fear of public speaking?

As a told you I give an example of that river. The only reason why you have that fear of crossing that river, because you have not learned how to cross.

Doesn’t matter if it’s public speaking or anything, whenever we do something, which we have not learned, we have fear, nothing special in public speaking.

So, to have a very precise answer to that question on how to overcome the fear of public speaking?

The answer is this,

Learn the techniques and methods.

You must also read this blog to more about how to decode the fear of public speaking.

How Important is Public Speaking When You Want To Start A Business?

Sir, I told you my example, within three years, my company from 30, 40 people, we have grown to 200 people.

So, because businesses involves how to speak with people.

Business, I’m a pharmacist by education, I’m running an IT Company. I have no idea what people do.

It’s only our relationship and how we build a relationship. You know that, “SPEAKING”.

This blog to debunk some myths of eLearning Training Business.

How to Overcome Trauma of “What People Will Think About Me” When We Are On Stage As A Speaker?

See the only reason why you think “what people are thinking about you” because you’re not confident about your content.

Someone asked me, “Praveen, What is the role of your looks in public speaking?”

I ask people, “tell me how many of you feel that I’m good looking or bad looking.”

Be confident in asking, clearing all your doubts, not on the stage, in life.

So don’t live on the illusion that you speak very well.

Don’t live on the illusion that your content is well organized.

Ask yourself, learn and practice.

Once you are confident that whatever I’m sharing with the world, you will speak at the top of your voice.

See why I speak at the peak of my voice?

I know that if you’re a part of speak and grow community, and if you practice well, if you do really work hard, you will reach what I want you to reach there.

Yes. So confidence is only when you work hard in your life.

Otherwise, it’s not just about speaking, even if you ask me to sing in front of people, you’re not able to sing if you have not learned singing. Whoa, hard work.

You must read my blog to know how to deal with haters on Social Media.

How to Speak With Higher Authority CEO / Influencers / Bosses / Managers Fearlessly?

That’s a good question.

See, there are three types of audience we have the first audience is the audience which is just below in authority.

What do you mean by that?

The audience below, like you a very good, you’re a CEO, Director, and you’re speaking in front of small students.

They are below in authority. They’re not bad but they are below in authority.

Then audience, same in authority and audience above an authority.

Now, the problem is this, understand if you understand this will understand everything.

The problem is this, when you speak, as I told you, your content represents your IMAGE, right?

Since childhood, it has been told to you, show the best image.

Now, when you are speaking in front of below authority you’re not worried about your image, not worried.

Same authority slightly worried because you have to spend time with them but above authority, because they are decision-makers, you’re really worried about your image.

Image is more than life, right?

Image.

You are worried because you have worried about the image, the fear is high.

It just like that tree is very small when we are crossing that river is very thin. The tree is very thin. Then I would be more worried.

Same with higher authority people.

What to do that? Same.

Learn the techniques and methods and practice and practice.

There’s no other way, whether you want to speak in front of higher authority below authority or low authority, just because you are a CEO of an organization that doesn’t mean that by default, you will learn how to swim.

No, it doesn’t happen like that.

Right? Learn.

So, the answer that question is hard work and learning.

You must also read my blog to know how to measure the depth of your skill.

How To Handle Distractions During a Presentation?

While explaining in a presentation, if someone disturbs in between, the whole flow, get disturbed and I start fluttering.

If that person’s disturbance is genuine.. For example, someone wrote in the chat when I was selling, Praveen, this is cheating.

I thought, I will react. I reacted for 30 second, then I went back to content.

Why people feel its cheating, understand that also?

People feel it is cheating because the dream, which I am asking you to achieve, it’s a very distinct dream.

I showed you that I make 1.2 to 1.3 Crore per month.

I told you that, I never thought I would achieve this.

People want to think that he’s giving false promises.

No. This promise is false only because there are two things here. If I had not achieved that dream if I’m not making any money as a trainer and I’m expecting you to then false promise.

Second, if there is no strategy, tools, techniques, and methods.

I have both, I have both, I have achieved it and I have two strategies and methods.

So it’s a dream which I have to work hard, my team has to work hard and even you have to work hard.

So just because if someone is not able to achieve that dream is not cheating.

In one class if 30 students are there, if one person is failing and one person got first rank, what teacher has to do with that, what school has to do with that.

It’s your responsibility, even when the teacher and school are there to help you but it’s your responsibility also to work hard in your life. Even in Speak And Grow community, You need to work hard.

Another blog to know if English is a must for public speaking.

How A Person Who Stammers Can Succeed In Public Speaking?

No. Okay. There’s a gentleman called Muhammad Qahtani, Muhammad Qahtani in case if you’re writing it out, write it down.

I cannot spell it. Muhammad Katani, he’s a world champion of public speaking. World champion.

He decided to enter speaking only because he had a problem with stammering.

So I’m the last person on the planet to tell you what to do because I didn’t face that problem. Right?

I cannot guide you if I didn’t do that.

But Muhammad Qahtani, just go on YouTube and type Muhammad Qahtani world champion of public speaking. You will find it.

Follow that guy, learn…

He as TEDx Talk. He has videos content.

Follow, learn from him.

He will inspire you.

If you’re one of those people who are low in confidence, you’re one of those people who fail, I fail in my 9th standard.

If you’re those people are introvert. If you’re those people that have a fear of speaking, fear of money, I’m the person I had all this. I don’t have fear now.

I had fears in my life, fear is a favorite subject of mine by the way.

I have lots of fears in my life but I don’t allow to add new fears now.

Once you become a speaker and group member, you will understand more about fear.

How To Get Disciplined As a Public speaker?

Question: I know what I need to do and only after improve myself, I could think of improving people around me. My community, my nation, and finally the world where I live. But I seem to not have that discipline to improve myself. If I fail and I fail miserably, how do I get the discipline to improve?

Answer: You have a good control command on content, by the way.

Sir, Discipline of time is the key. Wherever I’ve reached in life, the discipline of time. Sometimes in those seven minutes, when I take a break, you know what I do for two minutes, sometimes two minutes, I just take notes. Did I have my notebook? I take notes that, okay. I’m talking about the seven minutes break. In the last one and a half hours, is there a point where I thought that no, I’m not going in a flow and there is a change in the requirements system required, no, maybe in my thought process has slide, I write it down because I will forget afterward.

And sometimes I meditate for five minutes, it’s very difficult, even today was a very bad day. That’s the reason I do not give a recording of the same live workshop. I give the recording of my best live workshop. Today was not the best day for me, I must tell you. Especially at the start of the workshop, Something happened in my personal life.

So, I was stressed because of that. So, today’s not the best, it’s just like when you play cricket, not necessarily every time you play good, right?

Training is just like that, when you go live in front of thousands of people every time, not necessarily perform well. So I didn’t perform well today. I’m not talking about numbers, business, that is secondary, that I always performed well. I’m talking about when I was delivering the content, there were few moments but when I was not able to focus. So I give, I have that discipline. I have the discipline of accepting it. I have that discipline of improving it. So even though seven minutes, sometimes I meditate even for two to three minutes, I just tried that, okay. Let me meditate for two to three minutes that’s why it’s happening, let me focus.

Discipline is a key sir. Okay, you can’t become a leader if you don’t have discipline, learn.

How To Create Speaking Content And Stories Impromptu?

Sir, if you say stage fear is not the issue, then good congratulation.

You’re among those people who feel that I don’t feel fear when I’m in front of you, Congratulations.

But irrespective of that, that’s a good point you have, irrespective of that….

3S Method of Business storytelling….

How to start a presentation, how to end presentation, if your English is not good, improving English, even that is important, right?

That’s your job. That’s a skill and technique you have to learn.

Just because you don’t get scared in front of people that doesn’t gives you license to speak effectively in front of people.

You have to learn techniques and methods.

How To Eliminate The Influence of Mother Tongue While Speaking in English?

See, I would show you one book.

See, I’ve shown my mark sheet to you, 38 marks in English. I joined the English speaking class at the age of 30.

Recently, just few months ago, I completed one more class of English, right?

I will show you everything from the scratch, formation of integrative sentences, the formation of a pronunciation, everything, verbs, everything. . Which you have not learned in school and college.

In case you have not learned it’s your responsible to learn it again.

Now you have to, you have to practice.

You have to practice until the time when speaking in English, your mother tongue can influence your ability to pronounce and your grammar is not taking the attention in your mind.

What do you mean by that?

So when I used to speak three years ago, when I was not a student of public speaking, when I used to speak, then if I’m speaking in English, it is to that part is to bother me that the sentence, which I have just formed just said, is this really correct or not correct? That used to bother me more.

The moment that stopped bothering me. I don’t care English, just a language ladies and gentlemen.

I do workshops, even for UK and US whose mother tongue is English. Those people who feel that they can speak in fast, fluent English say thanks to your parents maybe they could able to afford to send you to a convent school.

Many parents could not including mine. So you have to understand in India, English is the language we were ruled by British people for 200 years, whether you like it or not like it, it’s a language and constitution now is a language in the constitution.

You have to learn that, practice it. The moment it stopped bothering you it means you have reached the level.

How To Overcome Lack of Eye Contact And Facial Expressions In Public Speaking?

I explained eye contact, change the sentence, change the person.

The facial expression.. your facial expression is the output of your feeling… See if I’m happy, I’m happy. If I’m stressed, I’m stressed.

If you see the recording of this level of the workshop, which I will give, You will say Praveen you are looking more calm and relaxed compared to what you deliver today.

I was under very stressed today in the morning, under tremendous stress. So that stress was there maybe the stress was not visible or may be visible, but I was.

So that was the voice, expression is the output. So once your speaking from your heart, natural, calm, composed, relaxed, do not worry about that but facial expression is the output. You cannot make facial expressions.

How To Maintain Flow In Public Speaking?

Once you attend my video learning in case you are a part of speaking group community…

Once you attend the video workshop, in video workshop, I explain a container tale, that tale will help you to manage how to automatic flow but in case you’re not Speak And Grow group members, the communication flow has to be like a river.

What do you mean by that?

You always have to move forward.

Don’t take people’s backward in your communication, back and forth. It has to flow like a river.

That is a very deep subject on how to maintain the flow.

If You Get Negative Comments In Public Speaking?

If you get only negative comments, you have to improve.

So, every time when I asked, “but there are liking me or not liking me”, if not only 10% people say “we are liking you”, 90% not, then you have to improve.

If you’re expecting 100% people will like you. That’s not possible.

That is unfair expectation. 4 to 5% people, even up to 10% will not like you and that is absolutely okay.

How To Handle “Having An Opinion” In Corporate World and In Public Speaking?

Be genuine. Be genuine.

You act if you’re angry, you’re angry but don’t allow people to make you angry very easily.

So the way I’m speaking right now, even when I was selling, I was speaking like that only.

So in Q and A session, I have to be aggressive.

So it’s nothing to do with money, but it’s not, this is not the anger.

This is my natural style of an aggregation. I’m excited that I’m energetic. This is my natural style.

You like it or not like it, it’s how I am, this is how you are.

So whether you’re speaking for the boss or in front of juniors, feel proud what you are, how you are. That’s a natural side.

How to Handle Criticism In Public Speaking?

Criticism remain in our mind for a long time. Yes, it’s like plastic its non-biodegradable.

How to digest it within 30 seconds?

See, when I say 30 seconds you took it very literal. 30 second is not just 30 seconds.

So when I started doing, when I started promoting my live workshops on Facebook and all, so many people started criticizing, Hey, your English is poor. Your pronunciation is poor, your grammar is poor.

For nights, I could not sleep. You know, now you have to trust me. After listening to all the stories, if you’re saying oh Praveen, I don’t trust you, then you have a problem of trusting people then. I could not sleep.

I said, why people are saying all this, that negative comments are there in my mind. But when I started doing Vipassana meditation and I started learning this technique, that life is all about something happening in good in your life, accept it, get back to work. Something happening bad in your life, accept it.

So, 30 seconds rule is a simpler version of Vipassana meditation. Vipassana meditation is still to not react yet.

Here what I’m saying re-act react but little time.

So nowadays, even if I see very bad comments, Oh, okay. Get back to work. That’s it. That’s the only reaction. That’s the only, I don’t feel bad also from inside now, I don’t feel bad because I’m honest from inside. I know what I’m doing in my life. I’m trying my best.

So I should feel bad about your negative comments. Who are you to make me angry or make me feel, give me pain?

Who are you to do that? So I don’t allow, I don’t give permission to anyone to make me angry.

Sometimes if I get within less time, get back to work.

What To Do When You Go Blank On Stage?

First, you should not become blank on the stage.

If you use the techniques, should matter technique, you will not become blank on the stage, but in case still, if you become blank on the stage, still, if you have completely blank, accept it.

Sometimes I’ve seen people are speaking, the mic is not working and they know the mic is not working. Still, they’re holding the mic. The slide changer is not working. They know the slide changer is not working still they try anyway.

What’s the problem? Tell audience hey I think I have a fault with this slide changer.

Organizer, Hey, can you just check this mic slide change it.

If you going blank, completely blank, accept it. Give me a moment. I’ve just lost the track of my thoughts. Give me a moment. I’ll come back. Accept it.

At least accept it in your mind first that you have blank, don’t get scared.

Why do you have fear of people? What they will do? Do not worry about people they will feel you.

The mockery is this. You will really make a mockery of yourself when you are going blank on the stage and you’re pretending that you’re not blank. You’re pretending that you have not forgotten. That’s the mockery. If you are accepting it, the audience that say so, absolutely you are human beings.

We all go blank. No problem. Take your time. Come on the stage, come back again on your thoughts. Accept it.

2 Comments

  1. sonu yadav

    wow sir …. you make me so confident .

    Reply
    • Praveen Wadalkar

      Thank you for reading and sharing your feedback 🙂

      Reply

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