How to Overcome Fear

by | Nov 1, 2020 | Public Speaking | 0 comments


We should not be scared of ghosts in case if you are.

If you understand this, it will help you to overcome that fear.

And if you understand this, it will help you to overcome many other fears of your life. I don’t know whether you have that fear of ghost or not.

But I must tell you, a few months ago, because this thing I realized in the repass now when I was doing Vipassana and meditation. But before Vipassana now, fear of ghosts was one of the biggest fears of my life. And there was a genuine reason behind that, by the way.

Since childhood I heard this story from my mother, even though I was this much she use to share this story with very good intention.

And the story was this, that Praveen You’re very lucky. But I lost my mother very early.

Unfortunately, my mother lost her mother, there is my grandmother when she was just around five to six years old.

And out of curiosity I use to ask my mother, “so, you never saw your mother?”

And she used to say, “no, Praveen. I did.”

I said, “when?” And she said, “when I was 11 or 12 years old, I was going to school alone.”

And our school was in another village. And she was walking alone and suddenly she saw one lady wearing white color sari, open hair, red color tikka like this, and she was my mom.

Now, for the child, that story was very entertaining. And I heard that story several times, even when she was sharing that story with her friends.

But at subconscious level, I started imagining that and at subconscious level, I thought, yes, there is ghost. And it has really impacted my life very badly. Badly, is a very difficult word.

But as a child that I never used to get up from bed to empty my bladder. And I did that almost for 18 years of my life, I took 18 years to control or to bring my bladder under control.

That’s a different story, but the reason I’m saying this, I had a big problem of ghost.

Understand This, You Will Understand How To Overcome Fear

Understand this, you will understand how to overcome this fear.

You will understand how to overcome other fears also.

Fears are fears.

Understand, first we have to disintegrate that fear.

As a child, you used to break the car to understand the car functionality of the car, and then you still assembled, right?

Same you will do with fear also today. You have to understand first, you have to answer a few questions.

Keep the ghost fear aside for a moment. We’ll come back to ghost fear.

Let’s understand what’s fear.

Your fear of what?

Okay, answer a few questions along with me in your mind only.

Is this fear a real?

What do you mean by that?

Can see this fear?

Can you see what?

Of course, it’s real.

You can see what we imagine.

You’re standing at the edge of the swimming pool, you don’t know how to swim, this fear is real you can see that water.

So, yes, this fear is a real. So, if it is real it cannot be imaginary.

What do you mean by that? Either it is real or is imagination. So, it is not imaginary? It’s real. So, cross here.

Is it eminent/ What do you mean by that?

Are you sure hundred percent you are going to face that fear?

No, not necessary, right?

It’s not imminent, not necessary that you will enter inside the water not necessary.

So, it’s not imminent.

If I have to give one example of imminent fear, for example, you are in 10th standard and you have fear of math exam, that’s imminent.

You have fear but you have to appear for the exam.

Right? You cannot avoid that.

But fear of what is not imminent.

Many people they have never gone inside the water in their life or swimming pool or maybe river or sea.

So, it’s not imminent. Is its man-made fear of mother nature fear? Or that’s a very important question to understand.

Forget the answer.

The question is very important to understand whether it’s manmade fear or Mother Nature.

So, is it water man-made or Mother Nature?

Is very easy to determine whether something is manmade or mother nature.

Anything Which Is Created By Mother Nature Is Same Everywhere

Anything that’s created by Mother Nature is same throughout. Throughout the world it is same.

For example, water is created by Mother Nature, through is same. You go to New Zealand, you go to Australia, you go to US, UK, India, Dubai water is water.

So, it will never happen that my son is in Australia and said, “Dad there’s something in front of me I don’t know what it is.”

And he shows me, and I say it is water, come on doesn’t happen.

So, water is water, mountain is mounted, trees are trees, everywhere.

Anything which is created by Mother Nature is same everywhere.

Anything which is different, say for example, take money, money is not created by Mother Nature.

Even though we are mad behind hand this man-made paper.

But it’s not created by Mother Nature and because it is not created by Mother Nature, that’s the reason is different from country to country, regeneration, many things which are different.

What Is The Final Consequences Of This Fear?

It’s not created by Mother Nature. It is man-made.

So, is water man made or Mother Nature? Of course, it is. It’s not man made, it is Mother Nature.

Now, what is the final consequences of this fear?

Example, you face that fear even though it is not imminent, but in case if you face that fear, what is the final consequence?

Are aware about final consequences?

What do you mean by final consequences of what to fear?

So, one consequence is that you go inside the water, you are just wet.

But what is the final?

Drowning, death? Right?

So, you know final consequences.

So, you know final consequences of this fear of water is death.

Death?

Now you know the final.

Sometimes we don’t know the final consequences.

You’ll understand it, don’t worry.

And the last question you have to ask yourself, is there any skill available to manage this fear?

What is the fear of water?

Final consequences death, death because of drowning.

How to ensure that you don’t drown inside the water? Is there any skill available? Yes, swimming.

So, it’s not something that we don’t know. If you are inside the water what to do to ensure that you don’t die? Swimming is a skill level. So, yeah, the answer genius. I will come back to this again.

Let’s analyze ghost also and some other skill also, then we’ll see that why it’s not even worth getting scared of ghost. Let’s answer this. Is it real? Is this fear real?

You said Praveen, it’s difficult to answer that question whether it’s real or not.

So, let’s make it very simple. Is it visible? Is it visible? Have you seen ghost? I have last 40 years I’ve never seen ghost in my life. And I’m not talking about movies.

So, it’s not real.

Something which is not visible, it’s not real.

Now, is it imaginary?

So, here I said, either it is real, if it is real, it cannot be imaginary, if it is not real, it has to be imaginary.

So, yes, it’s an imagination, it’s your imagination, ghosts is in your imagination.

Now, is it imminent? I am very sure that you are going to see ghosts in your life, is it?

No, answer to that question has to be no. Agree?

Is It Man-made or Mother Nature?

So, it is not, it’s not imminent.

Is it man made or Mother Nature?

Now, apply the theory of is it same everywhere or is it different everywhere?

So, if you ask Indian to describe ghosts, then Indian will describe ghosts something which my mother has described.

And that person will also add this that the feet directing are backward or reverse feet, but you will not find same kind of description everywhere.

Maybe people from US, UK, UAE, West Indies, everyone has their own way of describing ghosts. So, as something which is not same throughout the world, is not created by Mother Nature.

If mother nature is greater than it should be same everywhere,

River, Mountain same everywhere.

So, because it is different, it is created by man made, it is not created by Mother Nature.

What is the final consequences?

Are you aware about the final consequences of in case if you are encountering this situation?

That is a ghost in front of you? What is the final?

Here we are very clear in water the final one you are entering in the water.

If no one is there, and water is deep, the final consequences is mortality, death.

Here what is the final consequences of ghost?

Tell me? Either you will run, start sweating, what?

You Don’t Know What Is The Final Consequences?

You don’t know what is the final consequences? You don’t know what is the final consequences?

Is there any skill available to manage the ghost?

Tell me what is the skill available? Tell me? Is there an online course available?

I know there’s a skill available for water, fear of water.

What skill is available to manage the ghost? Tell me Is there any skill available? No skill available. So, okay.

Now let’s understand the last one then we will not get disintegrating the car will assemble the car.

Let’s take public speaking also, one of the most important skills and if you go on Google, wright fear of, you will find maximum people are saying fear of public speaking.

And highly overrated fear. Let’s analyze the depth of this theory. Is it real? What do you mean by that? Is this fear a real? Of course, it is real or what do you mean by that?

What is public speaking? You standing in front of public, public is real, you speaking is real. It’s real, public is real.

It is not like ghost where you have never seen, you have seen public.

What Is Fear Of Public Speaking?

So, it is real? so, if it is real it cannot be imaginary. Is it imminent? Are you going to stand in front of people one day? Yes. I must tell if you’re breathing, if you’re living there will be a day, no matter how much you’re hiding and stopping and not going in front of people.

No matter, you have to stand. Even if you’re speaking in front of interviewers, or even on the day when in your office, you’re just giving an introduction every time. whenever you are standing in front of even two to three people, that’s public speaking, you cannot avoid that.

You’re in society you have to speak in front of people. So, it is imminent. Is it man made or it is Mother Nature. Now, this is very important. The fear of talking about “What is fear of public speaking?”

The fear of public speaking is like nervousness, scared, sweating, going blank. Now, whether you are in US, UK, or in India, nervousness is nervousness, the same everywhere.

The body, the way your body reacts. Why so many people they close their hand when they go in front of people if they’re scared? Because this is a different mechanism of Mother Nature, because see, there’s something wrong, you’re not comfortable on the stage.

Keep your public speaking aside because your body is not feeling comfortable. Start protecting your vital organ, that’s a reason close our body. So, whether you are in the US, UK, you sweat, you sweat the same. You close your body; you close the body same. So, this is same. The fear is same everywhere. It’s not a different fear. Right?

So, it’s created not by man-made, it’s created by Mother Nature. What are the consequences of public speaking fear? What is the worst that can happen if you don’t know how to speak effectively in front of people? The worst thing will happen is this. If you don’t know how to speak in front of people, you will not be able to share your ideas, values, thoughts, suggestions, feedback with the world.

I remember a book called, “Die Empty,” by Todd Henry. And I don’t want to take the name of that person Yeah, there is the book Todd Henry. If you read this book Die Empty, by Todd Henry, there is a sentence in this book, they said one small power in this book. Which is the richest land on the planet?

And someone said New York, California, UK, this and that, Dubai.

And the author said no, is graveyard.

Why? Because millions and billions of people are under the ground. And they never shared when they were leaving when they were breathing. They never shared their ideas, values, thoughts, additional feedback stories, their learnings with the world, they never did that, along with all those, nope, everything, all that content that decided to go under the ground.

So, that is the richest land on the planet.

The Best Justice With Your Life Is To Contribute By Sharing Your Ideas

So, the final consequences is this, that if you are not sharing whatever you are learning in your life, you know, the final consequences and you’re not doing justice with this life.

The best thing, the best justice that you can do with your life is to contribute by sharing your ideas, values, thoughts and solutions.

So, if you know the final consequences, if you don’t do that, you are just, I would say underutilizing this amazing opportunity we have got called life. If you’re not sharing, not speaking.

So, that’s a big consequence by the way, I would say. So, we know what is the consequences here, you will not grow also. That is a very small consequence grow.

But I would say, you’re under utilizing the opportunity in life if you’re not speaking in front of people, sharing ideas? And is there is skill available to manage that fear? Now, what is the fear of public speaking? The fear of public speaking is this, that you’re standing on the stage understand this fear of public speaking.

Are There Any Skills Available To Organize Your Content And Deliver Your Content Effectively?

You’re standing on the stage and you’re speaking, and when you are speaking at the same time you’re feeling, you’re thinking that what people are thinking about your content.

And because you’re not able to validate that, it’s very easy to validate in singing and dancing, whether people are liking you or not liking you.

It’s very easy to validate in stand-up comedy also, they’re laughing is validation done. How do you validate when you’re speaking?

So, because in the absence of that validation, your mind start feeling negative, are they really liking me or not liking me?

And that happens only when you don’t know how to present effectively, how to organize your content, how to deliver your content.

Now, are there any skills available to organize your content and deliver your content effectively?

Yes, of course, there are skills available. There are techniques and method, proper techniques and methods.

What Is The Logic Of Getting Scared Of Something Which Is Imaginary?

The World Champion of public speaking is only for seven minutes. And if you listen to the seven minutes talk, oh my god, they will change your beliefs.

How can in seven minutes one person can change your ability?

Because that person is organizing the content and delivering the content into the proper techniques and methods.

So, skills are available.

Now, come to the main question. Ghost. What is the logic of getting scared of something which is imaginary? Not even real, which you don’t, which we have no idea whether you are going to face or not face. You’re not clear about that. It’s created by man-made, not even by human nature.

And at the same time, you don’t know what is the consequences of that. At the same time, you have no skill also. So, you don’t know what is the skill level able to manage that fear, you don’t know what the consequences are, you don’t know.

You know it’s created by human beings, man-made and many things which man created, human beings created the wrong ones. So, man-made create. You don’t know if they are going to face you or not. It’s imaginary.

What is the logic? Why we are scared of ghosts?

So, the day I realized this, I started stopping turned back because I use to turn back to see whether someone is there or not, I said, leave it. But of course, you have to learn. Understand this now, 80% of planet is occupied by water. So, this is real.

Please understand this, it is not imaginary. Understand that also, it is not imminent, I understand, but it’s not something which you will say that I guarantee that I will never face. Maybe someone was living near the river, near the sea.

We never know, we know how Mother Nature is.

So, it’s, even though it’s not imminent, but there’s no guarantee. It’s not created by man-made by the way. It’s Mother Nature and we know the power of Mother Nature. And you know the consequences is what, the consequence is death. Oh my god. Skill is available, learn it, learn swimming. At least learn, go in every skill, you can go to the extreme level, but at least go to that level that you can swim smoothly and save your life.

Public Speaking Is Not Imaginary

Same with public speaking, it is not imaginary, it is real, you have to stand in front of people and speak. A

nd it is imminent, one day you will face, one day I know in water maybe will not go inside the swimming pool.

But whether you like or don’t like people will push you on the stage they will not push you in the swimming pool, but they will push you on the on the stage. So, make sure… You have to learn this, you have to overcome this fear.

Man-made of course it is not. It is a fear, and it is given by mother nature. Fear is fear and consequences we know will not grow, we are underutilizing this opportunity in life.

That’s some big consequences. And skill available?

Of course, skill available.

So, if to be very precise, answer to that question. Whether there should be fear, or we should we get scared of ghosts or not. Based upon this,

Absolutely, not, we should not be.

That’s my perspective.

What is your perspective on this? What do you feel?

This is Praveen Wadalkar signing out until we meet again.

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