It is so critical for you to understand this aspect of communication, especially when you’re speaking in front of strangers.
Most of the time when we speak in public, we speak in front of strangers, even if you’re speaking at the workplace, we don’t have a very intense close relationship with all the employees, at your workplace, with few members with few friends, isn’t it?
So if you have a presentation, and if 50 people are sitting in front of you, you don’t have a close relationship with all those 50 people. That’s the reason after the presentation, you go to your friends, and you ask them how was it, isn’t it?
Those are not strangers, I agree, I accept those are friends, they understand. Maybe they are there to help you. But remaining people, they are strangers, they have very limited knowledge about you about your skills about your content.
So you have to treat them like a stranger. And because you’re treating them like a stranger psychologically, also, we have to understand this critical aspect of communication.
Whenever we speak in front of strangers, do this exercise, it is very easy to do.
Strike Up A Conversation!
Next time when you’re going inside the lift, along with your loved ones, maybe your friend, husband, wife, along with your loved ones, inside the lift. Observe that other person with whom you’re traveling in that lift, were you comfortable in talking with, you strike certain conversation just to check this, this strike, and it will find that person is very comfortable.
And sometimes even you will feel that you’re very comfortable in talking with that person, but suddenly, lift stops and one person and inside the lift, you will find automatically, both of you will keep your mouth shut. Why?
Because psychologically we don’t want to speak in front of strangers. That’s their inner psychology that is there in our subconscious mind that we should not speak in front of strangers, several reasons, maybe certain good reasons that why they are very close, and why we should disturb them, especially in case of lift, or maybe nowadays is COVID period going on, so just keep your mouth shut. So don’t breathe out.
We Are Not Strangers!
Or maybe you don’t want to share something which you don’t want to reveal in front of that stranger, you’re not comfortable doing that you are in the middle of a certain conversation but the point which has to be noted here is this subconsciously psychologically we are always a little hesitant, we hesitate to speak in front of strangers and public speaking is always in front of strangers, isn’t it?
So, what is the solution?
The solution is very simple. It is a simple solution for that you have to understand this simple thing. That we are not strangers. It has been told to your mind, my mind. Our minds are conditioned like this, that we are different from each other.
The Stage Is For Convenience
We are not different from each other. We are not strangers. If you understand this simple concept. Whenever you stand in front of the public that the audience is not different. I am the audience, I am the part of the audience, there’s no difference between me and the audience.
The only reason I’m standing on the stage is that I’m using the stage for convenience purpose, the stage doesn’t give you any authority, stage only gives you the convenience that I am convenient enough to speak out or people are listening to me because we cannot all speak together. So I’m using the stage and I’m leveraging that benefit.
So all can listen to me otherwise you cannot build any kind of conversation, isn’t it? So stage doesn’t offer you authority, because the moment you feel authority, you have the authority it means you are different from the audience and you are not different from the audience we have same hands, same legs, same mind.
Everything is the same only one thing which really differentiates us from other people is our experience which is the past, your experience, my experience, your knowledge, my knowledge, it’s all past.
If we keep the past aside, which has to be kept aside. If you cannot live with your past, keep your experience aside and just then compare yourself with another person.
We are the same of course there is some change in color or change in looks, but fundamentally, psychologically we are the same.
If you think like that, that we are the same, then you will not have this problem of I’m speaking in front of strangers. That doesn’t mean that I’m asking you to go on the street and ask people and share everything with people. No, I’m not going on that beat.
That will be a psychological revolution, right? That we all start feeling like this. But when it comes to public speaking, have developed, have this mindset, next time you’re going on the stage that there is no difference between the public and me.
Right now there is no difference between you and me. What differentiates you and me is our pasts, otherwise, we both are the same, isn’t it? That’s the reason I have no pressure in sharing anything with you.
That might be the reason I wrote, I don’t hesitate to share with the world that I married a Buddhist girl or I ran from my home. When I was in the ninth standard, I failed in the ninth standard.
Don’t hesitate. And there will be a small percentage of people that are so free in their life, they will make fun of it.
But what I’ve learned in public speaking is this also whenever we speak in front of public there will be a small one percent of people who will not like you, will make a fun mockery.
Focus On 99%
Keep that 1% aside, speak for 99% and I know you are in 99% so next time, if you’re standing on the stage, remember this. Why should be scared, we are the same.
This is Praveen Wadalkar signing out until we meet again.