Who Is Responsible For Washing Dishes.. Husband or Wife?

by | Aug 17, 2020 | Public Speaking | 12 comments

I would love to have your perspective on this. Listen to this very carefully. 

We Are All Locked Down

Under lockdown we all are spending a lot of time in the kitchen, correct? 

Irrespective of gender. 

Now I think the perspective of husbands and prospective wives will be different on this subject. 

Let me give you this simple example and this simple example will help you, especially ladies to understand this very critical point, that how your husband looked towards this relationship called marriage. Imagine for a moment and I sure, I’m very sure that you will not struggle to imagine this, that your husband is washing utensils in the kitchen. 

Husband Is Washing Dishes

Now, at that point of time, ask your husband, what do you think about this? 

I’m giving you four options. 

Listen to each option very carefully. 


First, your husband says this. He says this, that you should be thankful to me and I’m doing a favor to you, maybe a little sugar coated word, but you should be thankful to me, he’s doing this as a favor to you.


Number two, he says that no, I want to help you, I can help you. This is my response. I just want to help you. I think if I help you, then there will be peace at home, but I strongly believe that in this kind of critical situation, I should help you. So, this is my help. So not no favor. He’s not considering this as a favor, helping, helping you. 


Third, your husband says this, no, it’s not help. It’s not favor. It’s my responsibility. It’s my responsibility. Especially when this kind of critical situation, it’s my responsibility to share the work so that pressure, workload is not on your head. So, I take that as a responsibility. 

Correct? Favor, help, responsibility. 


Fourth option,  your husband looks towards you and says this, what, what are you asking? I was washing utensils, what do I think about this? Nothing because I believe at home work should not be assigned gender the way you wash you wash utensils, even I can wash utensils. There’s nothing gender specific at home because we are a family. 

Whats Your Perspective?

Now what I want to know from gentlemen first. Can you tell me, honestly? Imagine if your wife is really asking this question to you, what’s the real answer in your mind. Be honest and ladies, it doesn’t matter what your husband is answering. Tell me what you wish to hear from your husband, if you’re asking this question to your husband out of these four options.


  1. Sachin Naik

    Traditionally, our families are still designed on kitchen work assigned to wives. Hence, the majority would be towards favour.

    For me personally, I would say help

    I would love it when it translates to responsibility, but it may take another 20 years for that. But we are on that path

      • Naveena Lukka

        In my home gentlemen like to cook and help me out in the kitchen. But when coming to washing utensils they make hundreds of excuses like they don’t want to touch dirty dishes.

        So as help and responsibility of using the plate and glasses and cutlery, they wash theirs and keep it. They don’t want to touch other cooking pots though mine are very beautiful cooking pots.

    • Jayvant Harlikar

      Now days in metro both husband and wife are working and house hold activities are taken care by maids, but in lockdown no maids are available and both are working from home so it’s responsibility Of both to divide the work, so that both can take care of office work also

  2. Satya Prakash

    If we truly consider them as our equal half then it is our duty or responsibility but from the very beginning from our birth we are taught or we learns by observing that the cleaning, washing, cooking etc are their responsibilities and therefore the child learn gender inequality from his birth.

  3. Shagun

    Obviously, the expected answer would be “What?”. Because it should really not matter who’s doing the dishes. It’s equally important a job to be done by males as well as females. There should be no ‘gender’ perspective to it, and to other household chores too, and infact there shouldn’t be a ‘gender’ perspective to any other profession as well.

  4. Rathna Kumar

    From my perspective It is my responsibility to wash vessels. If you considering this as a responsiblity automatically this will become help and become favor to your wife.

  5. Dr. Anita Sharma

    Hello Sir
    My hubby is blind by birth but he always help me not only in kitchen but in other work also. Sometimes he washed children’s clothes, sometimes he makes tea for me. Whenever i dont feel gd or feel tired he helps me in all the work. I am very lucky to have a husband like him. He is a music composer of AIR/ DDK. He is working as senior technician in Sora medical college , Shrinagar. He is very active in all the fileds. He look after his daughters. His younger sister is also blind by birth. He look after his parents , his sisters…infect he is very caring for my parents too. So Praveen every man should think like my husband. Marriage is a very big decision in life and I feel that both husband and wife are like two wheels of the car which have to run together, if one wheel stops or breaks in the middle, then the car is leaning aside Can fall in the same way. The husband and wife in the family will not be able to move forward in peace and love until each work is done with the consent of both. Praveen it was my story, hope you will like it Thank you.


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